Is it too much to ask for ??

Hey afternoon...
Woke up feeling so sucky,so dead. Feeling like how am going to spend today without you.
Tears flowing down my cheeks as I write this post.
I am feeling so sad.Sometimes when I am outside I try so hard to control my tears.I try so hard to keep myself busy so I won't think about you but still I failed.You just keep popping in to my mind.
When you tell me you want to eat that,you want to do that or you want to have that things.I never say a word and do it all for you because I know you will be happy and I really like to see you happy.
Now all I wanted is a simple message from you.All I wanted is to spend my day talking with you,spending time with you.Is it too much to ask for?
I don't know why you are pushing me away from you.I feel like we are drifting apart.We are not as close as we used to.Somehow you changed and I can feel it.
I told myself since you are ignoring me and not caring about me.I should do the same too,I should not care about you,I should not always give in to you but saying is easy doing is very hard.
I can't stop caring about you no matter how bad you treat me.I am so stupid.
I don't know if you will read this post but if you ever read it.I hope you will talk to me and at least tell me whats wrong with both of us.
I never been so sad because of a girl.Clearly my heart tells me you are special to me.