Today was a very tiring day.
Only slept for 3 hours last night before waking up for work.
Work was very busy mainly because all the Malay friends never come work due to Hari Raya.
Still I am glad because I like to be busy and it distracts me from unhappy stuff.
Saw a lot of pretty girls today too ! =P HAHA !
Today when home and watch Back to the future 1,2 and 3. Its an awesome show !! Everyone go watch !
Any more nice show to recommend ? If have tell me on my Chat box ! Thanks =)
Anyway feeling so much happier now because I settle all my problems and I feel like I am free of burdens.
Next month will be a good month =) Looking forward to it !!
Hope our retards friendship will grow better day by day. They are the best-est friends i ever had. Nothing will replace them in my heart =)
Hope everyone is happy ! Any problems can tell me.I will try help you all.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
Is it too much to ask for ??
Hey afternoon...
Woke up feeling so sucky,so dead. Feeling like how am going to spend today without you.
Tears flowing down my cheeks as I write this post.
I am feeling so sad.Sometimes when I am outside I try so hard to control my tears.I try so hard to keep myself busy so I won't think about you but still I failed.You just keep popping in to my mind.
When you tell me you want to eat that,you want to do that or you want to have that things.I never say a word and do it all for you because I know you will be happy and I really like to see you happy.
Now all I wanted is a simple message from you.All I wanted is to spend my day talking with you,spending time with you.Is it too much to ask for?
I don't know why you are pushing me away from you.I feel like we are drifting apart.We are not as close as we used to.Somehow you changed and I can feel it.
I told myself since you are ignoring me and not caring about me.I should do the same too,I should not care about you,I should not always give in to you but saying is easy doing is very hard.
I can't stop caring about you no matter how bad you treat me.I am so stupid.
I don't know if you will read this post but if you ever read it.I hope you will talk to me and at least tell me whats wrong with both of us.
I never been so sad because of a girl.Clearly my heart tells me you are special to me.
Woke up feeling so sucky,so dead. Feeling like how am going to spend today without you.
Tears flowing down my cheeks as I write this post.
I am feeling so sad.Sometimes when I am outside I try so hard to control my tears.I try so hard to keep myself busy so I won't think about you but still I failed.You just keep popping in to my mind.
When you tell me you want to eat that,you want to do that or you want to have that things.I never say a word and do it all for you because I know you will be happy and I really like to see you happy.
Now all I wanted is a simple message from you.All I wanted is to spend my day talking with you,spending time with you.Is it too much to ask for?
I don't know why you are pushing me away from you.I feel like we are drifting apart.We are not as close as we used to.Somehow you changed and I can feel it.
I told myself since you are ignoring me and not caring about me.I should do the same too,I should not care about you,I should not always give in to you but saying is easy doing is very hard.
I can't stop caring about you no matter how bad you treat me.I am so stupid.
I don't know if you will read this post but if you ever read it.I hope you will talk to me and at least tell me whats wrong with both of us.
I never been so sad because of a girl.Clearly my heart tells me you are special to me.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Mixed Feelings
Hey Hey. Blogging in the morning again today.
Yesterday was a very happy day. Had steamboat with my retards =)
Was very tiring because need to prepare all the ingredients but lucky got JiaMin to help me if not sure i blur blur don't know what to do one.Thanks !
Dinner was good ! We drank wine,but mostly the one drinking is YiTing.She drink till so super high and also a bit dizzy.She really look like a retard then !! HAHA!
After that we watch TV till 11pm then send JM to the bus-stop because have someone accompanying her home ! Lucky for me =P
Then come back and send YT home ! We kinda talk a lot of things along the way but mostly is me telling her my problems. Thanks for listening =)
Going to work later on from 2-10. Kinda don't have the mood to work but no choice. I have to keep myself busy so I won't keep thinking about her.
After work meeting YT for supper at railway mall ! =)
Her message to me definitely become shorter(1-2 words)and her reply takes longer time.
Sometimes when I see that I kinda have no mood to reply but if I don't reply,I won't get to talk to her.If you really don't want talk to me,please just tell me so I won't be feeling so miserable.Please don't find me only when you need me and ignore me when you don't,I feel like a spare part.
You are just tearing my heart apart. Its very painful...
Yesterday was a very happy day. Had steamboat with my retards =)
Was very tiring because need to prepare all the ingredients but lucky got JiaMin to help me if not sure i blur blur don't know what to do one.Thanks !
Dinner was good ! We drank wine,but mostly the one drinking is YiTing.She drink till so super high and also a bit dizzy.She really look like a retard then !! HAHA!
After that we watch TV till 11pm then send JM to the bus-stop because have someone accompanying her home ! Lucky for me =P
Then come back and send YT home ! We kinda talk a lot of things along the way but mostly is me telling her my problems. Thanks for listening =)
Going to work later on from 2-10. Kinda don't have the mood to work but no choice. I have to keep myself busy so I won't keep thinking about her.
After work meeting YT for supper at railway mall ! =)
Her message to me definitely become shorter(1-2 words)and her reply takes longer time.
Sometimes when I see that I kinda have no mood to reply but if I don't reply,I won't get to talk to her.If you really don't want talk to me,please just tell me so I won't be feeling so miserable.Please don't find me only when you need me and ignore me when you don't,I feel like a spare part.
You are just tearing my heart apart. Its very painful...
Saturday, August 27, 2011
A new day !
Hey Morning everyone ! =)
Decided to blog at morning time.
Going to write all my problems here and leave it all here making sure it does not affect my life again.
Yesterday finally completed the last exam paper.Though exams is over,I am not really happy because I did not work hard enough for it and for the 3 papers I was really distracted by some stupid things.
These problems is making my life very miserable and I don't want it affect me any longer.
So I should
-Not think about her so much.
-Make new friends.
-Try not to be so possessive.
-Distract myself by doing other things.
-Find someone who deserve all my love and care.
Hmmm....dunno how am i going to overcome all these problems but was thinking of going out to all the natural places in Singapore and just do nothing except enjoying the view and peace.Take the chance to clear my mind too.
Like what JM blog says "YOU CAN IF YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN !"
So I am very sure I will be alright when school starts.
Anyway holidays starts today.Dunno how to spend it ??
Planning to go out with retards more.Try to work more if am not lazy.Going to ask my angel out !! HAHA !
Today going have steamboat ! Going to busy preparing all the stuff ! Haha,keep me busy !!
Tats all for now ! Will blog later tonight ! =)
Decided to blog at morning time.
Going to write all my problems here and leave it all here making sure it does not affect my life again.
Yesterday finally completed the last exam paper.Though exams is over,I am not really happy because I did not work hard enough for it and for the 3 papers I was really distracted by some stupid things.
These problems is making my life very miserable and I don't want it affect me any longer.
So I should
-Not think about her so much.
-Make new friends.
-Try not to be so possessive.
-Distract myself by doing other things.
-Find someone who deserve all my love and care.
Hmmm....dunno how am i going to overcome all these problems but was thinking of going out to all the natural places in Singapore and just do nothing except enjoying the view and peace.Take the chance to clear my mind too.
Like what JM blog says "YOU CAN IF YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN !"
So I am very sure I will be alright when school starts.
Anyway holidays starts today.Dunno how to spend it ??
Planning to go out with retards more.Try to work more if am not lazy.Going to ask my angel out !! HAHA !
Today going have steamboat ! Going to busy preparing all the stuff ! Haha,keep me busy !!
Tats all for now ! Will blog later tonight ! =)
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Not a good day =(
Today was not a good day.Was very moody.
PMP test was very hard.
Can't remember anything about it and I can focus because I was thinking about something else.
After the Test I cab home. Mood was -200% then.
Sorry for making some of my friend worry about me. Didn't mean to do it.
So I guess my PMP gone too. Hope DCN won't be tat hard.
Hais...this few days mood not very good because of some stuff.
And there are only 2 people in the world who know whats wrong.
Will tell everyone when the time is right.
Everyday is a torture for me now.
I dunno how long can i hang on. Am I even strong enough to survive it??
I really hope you understand.
I really hope you care about me.
I really hope you don't treat me like a spare part.
I really hope I can get amnesia so i won't remember a single thing about you.
At least I won't be feeling so miserable now
I hope someone can pull me out of this shit.
I am tired. So tired...
PMP test was very hard.
Can't remember anything about it and I can focus because I was thinking about something else.
After the Test I cab home. Mood was -200% then.
Sorry for making some of my friend worry about me. Didn't mean to do it.
So I guess my PMP gone too. Hope DCN won't be tat hard.
Hais...this few days mood not very good because of some stuff.
And there are only 2 people in the world who know whats wrong.
Will tell everyone when the time is right.
Everyday is a torture for me now.
I dunno how long can i hang on. Am I even strong enough to survive it??
I really hope you understand.
I really hope you care about me.
I really hope you don't treat me like a spare part.
I really hope I can get amnesia so i won't remember a single thing about you.
At least I won't be feeling so miserable now
I hope someone can pull me out of this shit.
I am tired. So tired...
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Letting Go
Last night told myself that I will let go of her.
Bury her deep inside my mind and not think about her again.
But today at work,my whole mind was thinking about her. Even now I am still thinking about her.
I feel so miserable. I feel like I am torturing myself.
I know that me and her will never be together but I dunno why I am still holding on.
Can feel that she don't even care about me,to her I am no one bahz. Maybe someone she find when is bored. And when she is not bored,she totally forget about me.
Hais...I feel so sad.
Bury her deep inside my mind and not think about her again.
But today at work,my whole mind was thinking about her. Even now I am still thinking about her.
I feel so miserable. I feel like I am torturing myself.
I know that me and her will never be together but I dunno why I am still holding on.
Can feel that she don't even care about me,to her I am no one bahz. Maybe someone she find when is bored. And when she is not bored,she totally forget about me.
Hais...I feel so sad.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
EXAMS !
HiHi !
Its been awhile since I last post. Kinda lazy and sometimes don't know what to write also.
Have been fine this few weeks. Learn to be more happy and learn not to think so much also.
Somtimes its better to go with the flow and leave the rest to god.
Anyway,my HTML sem exam is finally over ! Even though i felt that I can do better if i listen in class and started revision earlier I am still happy because I put in the effort to study and I did my best during the exam.One more thing is that I am happy to see both of my retards putting in effort and studying hard too. JYJY ! =D
1 exam down 2 more to go.Will be putting much much more effort for the next two because it is more difficult and I have no clue what the module is about !! Hope can meet up with my retards to study everyday because both of them are my motivation and is also because of them that I choose not to go up on exams. Thanks ! =)
Thats all for today ! Will try to update more. JYJY everyone for their exams ! Nights =)
Its been awhile since I last post. Kinda lazy and sometimes don't know what to write also.
Have been fine this few weeks. Learn to be more happy and learn not to think so much also.
Somtimes its better to go with the flow and leave the rest to god.
Anyway,my HTML sem exam is finally over ! Even though i felt that I can do better if i listen in class and started revision earlier I am still happy because I put in the effort to study and I did my best during the exam.One more thing is that I am happy to see both of my retards putting in effort and studying hard too. JYJY ! =D
1 exam down 2 more to go.Will be putting much much more effort for the next two because it is more difficult and I have no clue what the module is about !! Hope can meet up with my retards to study everyday because both of them are my motivation and is also because of them that I choose not to go up on exams. Thanks ! =)
Thats all for today ! Will try to update more. JYJY everyone for their exams ! Nights =)
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Who to turn to ??
Feeling so angry,sad and jealous now !
Don't know how to vent out all my anger !
Don't know who to talk to when i am sad !
So decided that maybe blogging it out will make me feel better.
Actually the reason why i am feeling like this is because of YOU.
Maybe is because i am jealous or thinking too much that affect my judgement.
Sometimes I just want to know what I am to you inside you heart ? Do you care about me ? Will you notice if i am gone someday ? Do you even bother about me ?
Sometimes when you are unhappy and alone. I really want to step up and cheer you up,accompany you but I know you have him so i stand back and this really make me feel so useless and miserable.
Days without you seems so long,even a mintue feels like a few hours,I dunno how to past it.Sometime i just walk around the house waiting for time to past.
I am really glad that you found him and i really hope he treats you well...
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